[Or something like that. I love that some of y’all still “hang out with me” anyway.]
1. I don’t have a quick fix for your life, health, sanity, or career. Because there isn’t one.
I see a lot of posts with magazine-style tips to get you results fast in various areas of your life. The problem is that they aren’t typically sustainable. They might not even work for everyone anyway. I mean, I get it. If you offer to help people, they’ll take it. I’ve written posts on how to make “sensible” choices at parties and things like that, because those small things can probably help. But I can’t bring myself to lie to y’all. There isn’t a quick fix for most things in life. There definitely isn’t a magic solution that works for everyone. We’re all different.
2. I don’t wake up spouting poetic, insightful, and articulate things. I’m no Wordsworth, y’all.
I have read posts that have literally caused me to weep. They were so perfectly poignant and beautiful that I couldn’t help myself. I’ve read others that were so thought-provoking that I caught myself thinking about them late into the night. That’s not my thing. I just start typing. It usually comes to a dead-end or makes no sense. I’m not a writer, and I don’t want to pretend to be. I’m incredibly jealous of people who have that skill. Writing and singing are two things I enjoy, but I lack the actual talent to pull them off in any real sense. I do them both daily anyway. Sorry about that.
3. I don’t want to feed into your insecurities. Sure, that sells. It’s also irresponsible and cruel.
Don’t even get me started on the blogs that do this. I will get ranty and start type-yelling obscenities. To sum it up: if you are still battling your own demons, it’s unkind to unleash them on the world. This is especially true for people with issues having to do with exercise or eating. There are young, impressionable minds who basically read your words as their scripture. It’s a sad, sad reality. Alright, I guess I am going to slightly delve in here. I am sick and tired of tiny ass meals, underfed and overworked bodies, and distorted views being plastered all over blogs, Instagram, and Twitter. From the bottom of my heart, I pray that these people get better. I truly do. I also want them to refrain from spreading that poison across the internet and making other people think it’s healthy. End of story.
4. I don’t really know how to be a people person. I don’t hide my anger or confusion well.
I have a hard time holding back my true thoughts, opinions, and emotions (obviously). I am probably a little too outspoken. I’ve tried to hide my real feelings, and frankly it’s frustrating. Am I always “in the right”? Of course not. But I’ve learned a lot by getting schooled after opening my big, fat mouth. That has to count for something, right?
5. I don’t subscribe to any “all or nothing” notions. That grabs attention, but it’s not my reality.
Halloween was eye-opening for me. I saw several people post about how they threw away their candy because it was garbage. First of all, that seems incredibly wasteful. Secondly, that is such a black and white view of food. I just don’t think like that, and I probably never will. Those people might be 10 thousand times “healthier” than me, but it’s not in my nature to go all out like that. I love to feel good, but I’m going to eat some candy if I want to. On the flip side, I don’t say “screw it” and eat whatever I want, either. I’m all about the grey area. The middle ground. That’s my happy place, ya know?
6. I don’t remember to respond to business emails. I’m all about the personal ones.
Send me a note about yourself, some random comment, or a good question and I”m all ears. I’ll usually respond within a day or two at the most. Send me a business inquiry? You might hear from me that day, next year, or never. I am so, so bad at getting back about those things. I have no clue why. I should probably work on that.
7. I don’t know where I’m going with this post, but I just keep on trucking. Who does that?
I hate that I ramble so much. It’s got to be pretty annoying.
8. I don’t think I have it all figured out. Let’s be real, I can’t even match my socks in the morning.
Even though I might come across as a know-it-all jerk, I promise it’s all because of sarcasm or the fact that I’m not a good writer. I am a hot mess as both a blogger and life-liver. I swear I have good intentions of being put-together, organized, and all that jazz.. it just never happens. Do people ever really grow up? Because I’m waiting for that day to come. It’s not going to happen, is it? Basically, why would anyone read the words of someone who puts the remote in the fridge and leaves the house without remembering to put shoes on?
9. I don’t want you to work out today if you don’t want to at all. I want to you live your life.
As much as I want to be the motivational blogger, I’m not. I skip workouts regularly, I eat junk from time to time, and I just really can’t act like I don’t. You think that’s why I’m not ripped? Dang.
10. I don’t have a “thing”. I have a whole lot of things, but they’re called “issues”.
Most of my favorite bloggers have a niche. They have something they’re really, really good at. Some of them are crafty as hell or cook the most delicious looking food. Others make up the gnarliest workouts or run so fast it makes my brain hurt. Sometimes, when bloggers aren’t necessarily in a specific niche, they write so well that I don’t care. I’m interested in them just because how freaking smart they sound or how well they can tell a story. I just like to complain on the internet. That’s not fun for anyone.
[So, I guess I’ll just awkwardly end this post now…]