Judging by my run last night, no. It’s freaking not possible to have the best of both worlds. I went in planning to run 3 miles. Then I decided to run as fast as I could for as long as I could. Y’all. I put it on 8 and barely made it a half of a mile. Talk about a reality check. I think somewhere deep down I really thought I was going to be able to beast a few miles out. Nope. That did not happen. I ran at a 7:30 pace in half a mile increments. I decided to pretend I ran half-mile “sprints”. Whatever those are. Anyway, I really thought that I could hold that pace for a at least a mile. Yeah. Right. Thanks for the punch in the gut, life. You rock. 😉
When it comes to fitness, I really am all mentally screwed up. I want to do my own thing, without any pressure. Like, ever. Yet I want to run faster and lift heavier. Hmm. Something’s got to give, am I right? I mean, you can’t really do both. I either need to get it together and give it my all or I need to choose new goals for myself. I really don’t know which one is the better choice for me. It’s almost like every day I’d make a different decision.
One day I’m all…
The next day…
You get the point.
My half marathon training starts on Monday. Either way, I’m going to log some miles in order to run the damn thing. Now, the question is do I put all my effort into really killing it? (And I realize that my “killing it” probably is very different than a lot of runners. I really don’t ever expect to be super fast, but I’d like to be fast for me.) Or do I loosen up and run for fun like I always have? Part of me thinks that the fact that I just typed “like I always have” means I should actually try this time. At the same time, I also realize it means that I’m likely to “give up” since that tends to be my thing.
Yes, I realize I have typed the same two blogs posts over and over again recently. The first being “Y’all, I’m going to rock this!” and the other being “I’m just over here trying to have fun, geez!” So, which one is me? I really don’t know. Obviously. Or I wouldn’t keep going on and on about this. WHY am I so nuts?
Omg. I just had a revelation. Seriously, like, right this second. I’ve mentioned before that I’m scared of failing. That’s true. I don’t want to say that I’m working really hard and then just end up blowing it. That being said, I think my real problem is that I’m not 100% sure of how to get faster or if I even can. I mean, yeah, I know the basics of training, but I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle. I wonder if a coach would be a good fit for me? More for the kick in the butt and advice than the actually “plan”, though, ya know? Something to think about in the future, for sure. I love rambling to you guys. No lie, 99% of the time I just get on here and start typing until I formulate some sort of thought. Free therapy? Legit.
PS: today’s “workout” was a visit to the park.
Question: Any of you “hobby” runners ever hired a coach? I feel weird doing it, since I kinda suck. But then again, I kinda want to.