Weekend Recap: We Ate a Lot

But seriously, we did. We didn’t have the toddler with us for a good chunk of the weekend, so we made the most of it and ate ourselves sick. If you have kids, you know that the first thing you do when they’re not around is head to every single slow-paced restaurant around town. I got to actually chew my food, you guys. It was amazing. And we did do some stuff besides eat, so I guess I’ll mention that, too. I haven’t really recapped a weekend in a while, but I’m still going to pull the lazy card and do it sentence-or-two per picture style. It’s how I roll.


Tis the season to decorate ridiculously early. Everyone is doing it.

christmas tree

When you force your three-year-old to sit in a car dealership for three hours while your husband negotiates, you download all. the. apps. 

kids apps

Best snack plates ever, y’all. PS: I bought that pineapple-jalapeño goo from Costco and it is perfect in every way.

homemade antipasto plate

I took a bath with Mindy Kaling and she taught me about life, love, and being a badass.

mindy kaling why not me

Thirty minutes after I put this dress on, I spotted a huge hole in the back of it and had to go home and change. Not embarrassing at all.

30 weeks pregnant

He was like a kid in a candy store, except the candy was oysters. And that’s disgusting to me.

abel brown augusta

If you live in Augusta and haven’t eaten at Abel Brown’s, you are missing out. 

abel brown augusta

No, you are really, really missing out. I’m serious.
abel brown augusta

IHOP’s vanilla coffee is really just a big mug of whipped cream, and I am okay with that.

ihop vanilla coffee

I was going to go for a walk when Maddux finally got home, but we did this instead. Can you blame me?

brother snuggles

Pizza is my best friend. Some people think that’s weird, but it feels right to me.

mellow mushroom shrimp pizza

Sunday night was ‘Milk & Movies’. I just invented that right this second but it sounds legit.

movie night

Well, that was a pretty uneventful post now that I look back on it. I should probably join a biker gang to spice up my life. Maybe next weekend?

Halloween 2015: Lessons Learned

Yes, I realize Halloween is totally over. That being said, I’m not done talking about it. Part of it is me rebelling against the extremely early talk of Christmas and part of it is that I just plumb forgot to post this. It happens. The following lessons were learned this year:

Homemade pancakes are better with store-bought Reddi Whip. It’s just a fact. There is no shame in my whipped topping game.

birchbenders pancakes

We are officially not my son’s favorite people anymore. While he was on this ride, he spotted a friend from school. He refused to wave at us as he passed, but he would freak out and yell her name each time he saw her. When he got off the ride, he made a beeline for her. She’s now on my list. I’m watching her.

jackolantern jubilee

Don’t try to do complicated nail art when you suck at doing your nails in the first place. This ombre glitter disaster took me two days and almost cost me my marriage. It’s a long story.

ombre nails

When you buy candy for the trick-or-treaters, don’t buy things you like. Right now I’m totally into sour candy and I’ll always love peanut M&Ms. I feel like I’m a decently intelligent person, but I made a bad call on that one.

sour gummies

I also thought we needed cupcakes that night. I know. I’m an idiot. Let’s just say enough sugar was consumed to kill a large beast. But here I am still ticking. Take that, nature.

smallcakes cupcakes

My son is only three and we’re already out of the cute, homemade halloween costume stage. Granted, I was probably too lazy this year to make anything anyway. Thank you, $20 Costco costumes.

leonardo costume

While bugging our neighbors for candy, we learned that this dude spooks easy. Legit every decoration but this dog sent him packing. I kind of hate everyone with motion-detecting decorations. You’re wrong for that. That said, it was slightly hilarious to see this tough little turtle’s legs moving faster than they ever have before.

skeleton dog

Because candy and cupcakes wasn’t enough, we also made s’mores. That one wasn’t as much my stupidity as it was me trying to force a family tradition into existence. I haven’t actually learned a lesson on this one, as I will probably continue to make them do things for the sake of “memories” for, like, forever.

fire pit

No one warns you about the day after Halloween. I like to call it the post-candy apocalypse. He refused to nap, insisted on dressing like a pirate while playing at the mall, and lost total control of his emotions by the end of the day. And this is all from two pieces of candy and about half a s’more. Lesson learned: sugar is the devil.

train table

The final lesson learned? I am a complete and total sucker in almost every single parenting aspect. When I’m instructed to wear a pink mustache to the mall, I wear a pink mustache to the mall. But, honestly, how do you say no to an irritable pirate?

toddler probz

All I can say is here is to next year and what will most likely be a repeat of every mistake all over again. Yay.

Glucose Test + Other Stuff That Annoys Me

This post is primarily for me to express my nervousness about my glucose test. I mean, for starters, I hate those things. The worst part, though, is that I took it on Wednesday and my results haven’t shown up yet in my online chart. I could call the office but I don’t want to be that person. I feel like if I’m going to be a patient I have to also be patient. Oh snap, I went there.

That being said, I did go ahead and live it up today just as if I’d passed. No big deal. Of course, now I’ll probably get my huge FAIL stamp tomorrow. Whatever. I had to get a #Frappula.


PS: It wasn’t my favorite thing ever. I should have just eaten a pumpkin muffin + a latte instead. Lesson learned. I am such a sucker for holiday marketing. This one tricked me, you guys, and I’m slightly annoyed about it.

I can be a pretty easy going person (seriously, I can sometimes!), but there are a few things that just happen to make me irrationally angry. I don’t know what to do about it, but I feel like it’s time to get it off of my chest. It’s also a slow night around the house. Might as well whine a little bit.

Things That Irritate Me But Probably Shouldn’t:

1. The fact that Peanut Butter M&Ms aren’t just Reese’s Pieces.

2. People who still use the term Hump Day. Every single Wednesday.

3. Literally every character on Caillou.

4. When I order a salad and it’s just iceberg, shredded carrots, and a limp tomato slice.

5. Parallel parking. Mainly just that I can’t do it.

6. People who ask to share desserts with me.

7. When anyone but me is driving in the left lane.

8. The fact that Kraft Ranch even exists. I must be on a salad kick here.

9. Pre-made trail mix. The ratios are clearly never right. Except at Target. You go, Target.

10. Anyone chewing anything anywhere in my general vicinity.

Whew, that felt good. I clearly have too much time on my hands today. Now it’s your turn. What somewhat normal thing drives you insane? You’ll feel better if you just let it out.

5 Apps That Make My Life Easier

You guys. I’m posting twice this week. I think this is what some would call a blogging miracle. The truth of the matter is that I wrote this post a week or so ago and totally forgot to publish it. How embarrassing. I guess I could have just pretended that didn’t happen, but I tend to tell y’all everything. Whoops.

So, here’s the deal. I have an app problem. I hate loading my phone up with too many of them, but I seriously can’t stop downloading them. Something has to give. I thought that a good start would be to create lists of the ones I use daily, weekly, and almost never. Then I could start getting rid of the ones I don’t actually need. What I noticed was that, outside of my social media and fitness apps, there are really only a handful that I rely on regularly. FYI: I put “Five Great Apps for Moms” on this picture, because “Five Great Apps for People In General” just didn’t have the same ring to it. Clearly these aren’t just for moms, y’all.

best apps for moms
The five apps I use most frequently are PS Express, Starbucks, WellSpent, Hub, and Ibotta. There really isn’t a theme to them except for the combination of the five help me pretend to be a functioning adult. PS Express helps me look like I have it together. Goodbye, under eye circles. Starbucks helps me survive the day. Thank you, Star rewards. WellSpent forces me to look at how much money I’ve spent on Starbucks. Accountability, yay! Hub helps me remember to pick up my child from school. That’s legit important. And, lastly, Ibotta sends me “free” money to send me back to Starbucks. It’s pretty awesome.


hub app review

Hub is considered a “home and family organizer”. To say that we need that is a huge understatement. We have the Gold version and it’s definitely worth it. Ryne and I can both add things to the calendar, which then alerts us to important things like when Maddux needs to wear his pajamas to school. Serious stuff, obviously. We can also add shopping lists, to-do lists, and various other notes, chores, and tasks. Everything is shared between our phones, so we’re always on the same page. I seriously can’t express how much we love this simple little app. I definitely recommend it, especially if you share a lot of duties with your spouse like drop offs and pick ups, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.


ibotta app review

Ibotta was made for people like me, because I always forget to take my coupons to the store. Actually, I forget to cut coupons. Or every pay attention to them. This way I get cash back on my purchases afterwards, which means it’s okay that I’m the worst domestic engineer on the planet. If you feel like signing up, you can use my referral code (asnedmc) to earn a bonus after your first rebate redemption. One that I’ve used twice now is $5 back on $25 at Carter’s. Maddux needed some warm-weather clothes, so using the app and getting $10 back was a no-brainer for me. PS: It’s free to sign up and you can “cash out” once you reach $10. I was shocked how quickly I hit that threshold. I’ve officially gotten $50 back now. Whoop! That’s a whole lot of lattes, y’all.


starbucks app review

Speaking of lattes, the Starbucks app is legit. I can buy coffee or espresso, even when I completely forget my wallet at home. Which, to be honest, happens way more often than I’d like to admit. This way, I can get my caffeine fix so I don’t forget other things the remainder of the day. Earning the star rewards is also just kind of fun, but that’s really just a mental thing for me. My favorite part, for real, is the ability to send someone a gift on the fly. Forget a birthday? Find out someone needs a smile? Send ‘em an e-card along with some coffee cash.  I think the theme here is that I’m forgetful and this app helps with that.

PS Express

wellspent app review

Do you wake up looking like a model? Yeah, me either. Sometimes those bags under my eyes just have to go. I’m also not the best iPhone photographer, which means my photos typically need a little cleaning up. I don’t use many of the preset filters, but I do usually tweak the exposure and either sharpen or reduce the noise based on how crappy the original photo looks. Since I am also a bad blogger, I snap a photo, edit it quickly on my phone, and then load it into the WordPress app. Boom.


wellspent app review

WellSpent is probably the one app that keeps me from getting a divorce. Do you know how easy it is to blow money at Target, Chick-fil-A, and Starbucks? Do you know how annoying that can be for your sensible spouse? I can’t even understand how I do it, especially Chick-fil-A. I don’t even eat chicken, so that one kind of blows my mind. Have you tried the veggie wraps, though? Not too bad. Not too bad. Anyway, that’s neither here nor there. The point is, I can track my spending with this little app. It’s super simple to use and I only input my frivolous spending. We have a much more sophisticated system for tracking bills and other monthly and yearly payments. By sophisticated system, I mean I’m married to someone who thinks playing in Excel is fun. If you need a quick way to track everyday spending, WellSpent is perfect.

I want to also post my app lists for social media and fitness. Maybe next time? If you have one you love (of any kind), let me know! I’m always up for trying something new.

What We’ve Been Up To Lately: Weekend Edition

I haven’t recapped our weekends in a while, but we’ve been doing some pretty fun stuff. All toddler-themed, of course, because I’m secretly trying to butter him up before his brother comes. I mean, I’m going to need him to understand why his mom all of a sudden looks and acts like a haggard, sleepy wench. It’s just the truth, y’all. Anyway, I’ll keep this short and sweet since I’m trying to recap a month’s worth of weekends in a single post. Sentence-per-picture sounds about right to me. Let’s get on with it, shall we?

When we met up with some friends in HHI, he repeatedly chose Maddy’s daughter over me.

beach babies

I got over it, because I immediately fell back in love with blackened shrimp and chose them over everything else.

salty dog cafe scallops

We tried to take a “brother kissing belly” photo and only succeeded in being extremely awkward, per usual.

baby bump at the beach

Skullcreek Boathouse is the best because they keep your kids quiet, and that’s all you really need in life.

skullcreek boathouse kids' section

This is the moment I realized that Maddux really can’t read a crowd… at all.

hilton head island

The next weekend, we hit up Myrtle Beach for a pirate-themed dinner show, because #bestparentsever.

pirate dinner show myrtle beach

Everyone but me got in the lazy pee pool, because I just can’t trust a pool that people stay in for hours at a time.

myrtle beach lazy river

We may be in a serious ice-cream-and-frozen-yogurt-every-daggum-day routine at the moment.

tutti frutti

We were leaving the mall, and he spotted this “awesome” race from a mile away.

race cars

The kid has got mad skills, but they all involve making his helicopter mom and dad incredibly nervous.

toddler rock climbing

Nothing like some high school football and flirting with older ladies, am I right?

high school football

 I’m not sure if he was getting into his role as a Tiger or just trying to be as loud and wild as possible.

clemson's littlest fan

Obvious rule #1 of papier-mâché tractor riding: No smiling allowed.

clemson homecoming floats

Yeah, that’s about all we’ve been doing for the past month or two. I can’t say that my interests are all that much different than his, so I’m pretty stoked he’s my kid. I can’t wait to have two boys to go on adventures with, because it just means more of everything, right? Right.

PS: I’ll be back to regular posting soon because I’m going to force myself to get back in the habit. Are you laughing? Seriously. It’s happening.