If the rest of 2014 is anything like today, I’m in for one hilariously awful ride. Let’s discuss my embarrassing start to the new year.
1.) I got a perm yesterday. First of all, I’d like to just say that it was definitely a decision that needs to be filed under quarter-life crisis. I mean, I guess I just wanted a change. Next thing you know I’ll be driving a new convertible and flirting with all the pretty young thangs around town. Back to my point, I woke up today looking like I’m auditioning for a crappy remake of Splash. I tried to beat my hair into submission with randomly placed rollers. It didn’t work. Ultimately, the whole point of the loose perm was so that my hair will hold different styles better, so maybe it’ll still work out in the end. For now, though, I am a poodle. I apologize that I’m forcing this image on you. Still friends?
2.) I got nailed in the face today with a small wiffle ball. Surprisingly enough, those things can catch a lot of speed. I have a bruise on my left eye to prove it. While it sucked, I think we can all agree that it’s a positive that it didn’t hit me in the hair. We never would have found that ball.
3.) I started off the New Year by eating an entire loaf of French bread smothered in butter. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but now I just feel dirty. I love me some bread and butter, but eating enough of it to feed a family of 8 is probably overkill. If it’s possible to have a carb hangover, I have that right now. When running doesn’t make you feel better, you know you’ve eaten yourself sick. Usually after a run, I feel like I could eat an elephant. Right now, I just want to curl up and drink water. Apparently, proper fueling is not my strong suit.
Speaking of my run, I ended up actually following the training plan for this one. It went a little something like this: 1 mile warm up at 6, 3 miles at 8 with half mile jogs in between each mile, and 1 mile cool down. Since I’ve been doing a lot of training on the treadmill recently, I aim to keep the incline between 1 and 3 the entire time. It helps a little, but I should still probably get back out into the real world soon.
PS: I thought about making some goals for 2014 and listing them tonight, but I’d rather just pretend it’s still 2013 today and start all over tomorrow. I might just be crazy enough to pull that off. If you see me Tweeting HAPPY NEW YEAR tomorrow, just play along for my sanity’s sake. See y’all tomorrow and Happy FAUX-YEAR’S Eve! It’s a real thing.