Since I started participating in the Under Armour What’s Beautiful Challenge (as part of a sponsored campaign through FitFluential), I’ve been talking a lot about being proud of yourself, doing what makes you happy, knowing what truly matters, and living for the moment. Today I totally screwed that up.
I’m not trying to be a hypocrite, but I do sometimes fail to live up to those standards of self-acceptance that I set for myself. I know these days happen to everyone once and a while, but I swear they seem to hit me when I least expect them.
I mean really… WHY? Why right now? Why today? I can’t exactly pin-point what about today in particular set me off. I guess the negativity has been building up and something was bound to happen. There have been a ton of little things bothering me lately (like having negative thoughts about my appearance and abilities), and I’ve been taking it out on other people.
I cried today. I cried about being weak. I cried about my “mushy” skin. I cried because I was crying.
I got snappy with Ryne. I got frustrated with Maddux. I absolutely crumbled. I let the doubt win.
I know this isn’t me. I know that tomorrow will be better. Today I was off my freaking rocker, ya know? I hate days like this, but I’ve had enough of them to know that they don’t last.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that if you have these days, you aren’t alone. Doubt has a very sneaky way of busting up and ruining a great day. Old insecurities know exactly when to creep up and bring you down.
Let’s be real: Has your appearance ever ruined your day at the beach? Has your blotchy skin ever kept you from going out? Have you ever tried on every single outfit you own to just end up in sweats? Have you competed in an event only to feel like you should have done much better? Have you looked at the girl next to you in the gym and realized how much stronger, more flexible, or faster she is? I have. More times than I’d like to admit. Those types of days rarely happen at all anymore, but when they do it can be tough. Try to remember that you really do have the power to make those thoughts disappear.
Find your joy. Do something you love. Spend time with people you love. Most importantly, love yourself. You’re strong. You’re beautiful. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be today. If you have big dreams and goals, you’ll get there. Every road has bumps and turns. Think of your life as one long, awesome road trip. Sure, some of the miles are better than the others, but you get to decide when to pull over and enjoy the view.
(PS: It’s not too late to join the challenge. Honestly, part of the reason I’ve calmed down today is because of the motivation I find when I check out the site. Not to sound corny, but it really is eye-opening to see so many different women going after so many different goals. You see that by being different, you’re actually fitting right in. Deep, right? 😉 But for real, you’re missing out if you aren’t taking part!)
On that note, I’m getting off of the computer, hopping into bed, and relaxing. Have a great night!