Yes, I realize Halloween is totally over. That being said, I’m not done talking about it. Part of it is me rebelling against the extremely early talk of Christmas and part of it is that I just plumb forgot to post this. It happens. The following lessons were learned this year:
Homemade pancakes are better with store-bought Reddi Whip. It’s just a fact. There is no shame in my whipped topping game.
We are officially not my son’s favorite people anymore. While he was on this ride, he spotted a friend from school. He refused to wave at us as he passed, but he would freak out and yell her name each time he saw her. When he got off the ride, he made a beeline for her. She’s now on my list. I’m watching her.
Don’t try to do complicated nail art when you suck at doing your nails in the first place. This ombre glitter disaster took me two days and almost cost me my marriage. It’s a long story.
When you buy candy for the trick-or-treaters, don’t buy things you like. Right now I’m totally into sour candy and I’ll always love peanut M&Ms. I feel like I’m a decently intelligent person, but I made a bad call on that one.
I also thought we needed cupcakes that night. I know. I’m an idiot. Let’s just say enough sugar was consumed to kill a large beast. But here I am still ticking. Take that, nature.
My son is only three and we’re already out of the cute, homemade halloween costume stage. Granted, I was probably too lazy this year to make anything anyway. Thank you, $20 Costco costumes.
While bugging our neighbors for candy, we learned that this dude spooks easy. Legit every decoration but this dog sent him packing. I kind of hate everyone with motion-detecting decorations. You’re wrong for that. That said, it was slightly hilarious to see this tough little turtle’s legs moving faster than they ever have before.
Because candy and cupcakes wasn’t enough, we also made s’mores. That one wasn’t as much my stupidity as it was me trying to force a family tradition into existence. I haven’t actually learned a lesson on this one, as I will probably continue to make them do things for the sake of “memories” for, like, forever.
No one warns you about the day after Halloween. I like to call it the post-candy apocalypse. He refused to nap, insisted on dressing like a pirate while playing at the mall, and lost total control of his emotions by the end of the day. And this is all from two pieces of candy and about half a s’more. Lesson learned: sugar is the devil.
The final lesson learned? I am a complete and total sucker in almost every single parenting aspect. When I’m instructed to wear a pink mustache to the mall, I wear a pink mustache to the mall. But, honestly, how do you say no to an irritable pirate?
All I can say is here is to next year and what will most likely be a repeat of every mistake all over again. Yay.