When I’m in a hurry, I’m an accident waiting to happen. The faster I try to drink a glass of water, the faster I’ll pour it down my shirt. I don’t even want to get into what happens when I use knives. Just stay far away. For years my mom has told me to “slow down” before I kill myself. I’m known for being really clumsy and uncoordinated, so she definitely has a point. For an adult, I’d say I have an unusual amount of scratches and bruises. It’s an issue.
I don’t just need to slow down when it comes to physical safety, though. Every now and again, I have to remind myself to just pump the breaks on a larger scale. I like to try to fit as many things into each day as possible. If I have ten seconds to spare, I’ll try to pencil something in. Guess what happens 99% of the time? I start rushing through things to try to get it all done, screw a few things up, get frustrated and upset, throw my hands up in the air, and open a bottle of wine. It happens. Apparently I need to work on my coping mechanisms as well. Wining is better than whining, though, am I right?
Anyway, today was the perfect example of me trying to do a million things and pretty much sucking at all of them. I won’t bore you with all the details and logistics, but I “had” to try to fit in: going to work, working out, showering, picking M up from daycare, making dinner, going back to my school for Open House, cleaning up, blogging, a million little dumb things that could probably wait, and going to bed. I planned it out to a T. Like, I’m talking to the minute. Which means I left myself zero room for error. Which means I’d obviously screw it up immediately by rushing around, making messes, taking too long on literally everything I attempted, yada yada yada.
I probably should have skipped the run, but I just really wanted to sweat a little. I don’t get to work out as often as I’d like, so I was stubborn enough to think that time would stop if I wanted to get it done. Hilarious. Plus, I just want to take advantage of days when I truly want to run or work out. It was beautiful outside, I didn’t pass out in the heat, and I ran three full miles! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: there’s always a silver lining.
Back to my point. I think I may have bitten off more than I can chew. And to think I was actually considering applying at my gym to teach a few random classes. Like, when? In what spare time? I might be certifiably insane. Y’all, I really want to stress that I 100% know that I don’t have a difficult life and that all the pressure on me is put there by me. I just get wrapped up in the moment so often and think “YES! I could TOTALLY do that!” Then I get guilty when I’m not doing other big things I should be doing like volunteering or helping others. And then I think “Wait, I can’t do the big things yet because I can’t even get the little things down.”
The little things are killing me right now. I would pay big money for someone to just come match socks at my house. Such a dumb chore. I’ll spend an hour doing something like that and miss out on things that I do like. Lame. For instance, one of the aspects I love about blogging is reading and responding to comments, emails, and Tweets. I’ve been really bad about that lately. Yep. I’ve got too much going on when I can’t even spare a few minutes to do things I enjoy.
So instead of adding things right now, I’m just going to cut out a few “non essential” things. I think I need to either stop blogging or stop cleaning my house. Looks like I’ll be living in filth for a while. But, seriously, any tips on not hating yourself for slowing down and cutting back on a few things? I want this feeling back! I want the lazy me to come around more often. 😉