I really did feel like doing that. Until I realized it would hurt me more than the wall, and also that the wall is really just an innocent bystander. I just have a lot of misplaced anger and confusion right now.
I know that my very last post was all about seeing the positive, but I am downright mad that I can’t run right now. It’s kind of hilarious to me that I want to run more than ever any time that I can’t. Always want what ya can’t have. I’ve been soothing my broken heart with lots of noodles.
Anyway, I actually don’t really know what’s going on with me. Earlier this week I thought I had a bit of a sinus thing going on. I had a constant headache and was really drowsy. That happens this time of year to me, so I didn’t think much of it. Then on top of that, I was nauseous off and on starting Thursday afternoon. This weekend, though, I started getting really sharp pains that felt a bit like side stitches, but it wasn’t from running. I’d literally be sitting on the couch and it would happen out of nowhere. It’s not a constant pain, but it’s been happening over and over again.
I had a ten mile run planned for Saturday. I was honestly really excited. My nine mile run last weekend was perfect, so I was ready to hit double digits for the first time in a while. I had to stop a mile into the run because my entire body started to ache. It was like I couldn’t even hold my shoulders up. It was a really freaky feeling. It was similar to the aches and pains that come with the flu. It also felt like someone skewered me right below my rib cage. Is that too graphic of an explanation? I mean, I really don’t know how else to explain it. I decided to finish the loop I had started out on, but it was a dumb decision. I had to stop every half a mile just to stretch the pain out. My legs were even totally stiff and sore. It was so, so, so weird.
Is there some sort of virus going around right now? That’s the only thing I can figure out to blame this on. Appendicitis crossed my mind last night. Before bed, it got extremely painful and I felt really sick. I’m guessing that’s not the cause, though. PS: DO NOT GOOGLE YOUR SYMPTOMS. Ever. The internet told me I either needed an emergency appendectomy or I had cancer. What the hell. That is not good bedtime reading, let me tell you that.
A positive of this weekend is that Maddux got to see his cousins. So, see, I’m still happy-go-lucky. No wall punching for me tonight, I swear.
For now, I’m just going to keep ignoring the pain. I’m pretty sure that’s not a sound decision from a medical perspective, but I can’t afford prompt care prices. Going to the doctor on the weekend is like throwing hundred dollar bills straight into the toilet. It’s so expensive and I swear I’ve never actually needed to be there when I’ve gone.
So, um, yeah. Sorry for the long rant. Fill me in on YOUR weekend, because I’d love to hear that someone is in a better mood than this ol’ grouch. 🙂